I’m too sick to shower. I haven’t washed myself in months.
It sucks. I stink. OOPs friends are too polite.
“people say I smell like nothing now”
My brother said something similar “I never shampoo and my hair doesn’t stink”.
My wife and I informed him that his hair stank, and that we had to launder the pillowcase immediately after he stayed over because it stank up the room and adjacent hallway the day after.
OP got used to his BO, I promise you the people around him know he does not use soap.
I have also not shampooed my hair for an extended period, and you do have to rinse it when you shower. I would put soap on the ends every so often and I had to rinse it with baking soda a few times to remove cooking odors (onions mostly).
No one ever complained about a smell, but people tend not to say things like that.Technically (🤓), you don’t have to wash your hair because it’s dead. The scalp is where the sweat, oils, and skin cells build up and where the bad odours would be coming from. And most people on average aren’t really close enough to someone (especially a tall someone) to smell their scalp.
Personally, I tried the whole no shampoo thing, and it was agony. The roots of my hair hurt from the build-up if I don’t wash them once week, only rinsing with water does nothing. Human bodies are weird.
As someone who doesn’t use shampoo and has hair which has re-adapted to not having the natural oils stripped out, and doesn’t use soap for the same reason, I am confident to say:
** Showers are a good thing. **
Just don’t blast your skin with steaming hot water and your skins microbiome and keratin glands will adapt. Being “100% clean” will lead to sweat which stinks because of the heat-resistant bacteria which flourishes (thanks to a less diverse microbiome) and produces bad odour after digesting your sweat.
Sweat itself doesn’t have a smell, it’s why you don’t stink the moment you start sweating.
What OP is doing here is fabricating a satirical story based on these principles.
You will not take away my hot showers liberals, grrr
Hot showers are bourgeoisie propaganda, designed to keep the working class in a perpetual cycle of stank.
Think about it, the sales of hygiene products fuel our economies, they have us played for absolute fools.
Our hot showers come at the cost of energy, normally coal, which makes climate change worse, making us hotter, and more sweaty, leading to more hot showers.
Ten thousand years ago, our ancestors had no class divide, no climate change, and no hot showers.
Surely you see now that our only option is to rise up, and together, say “fuck this shit” and kill billionaires and stop taking hot showers.
And if you keep taking hot showers then you’re enabling the fascist techno crypto oligarchy patriarchy.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lukewarm shower to attend.
