Met a 22 yo in a group I am involved in, she asked if I wanted a lift to a meeting, there and back. I don’t know her very well but she’s young a lot younger than me by 10years.
So talking on the way back she mentions antidepressants, I too take anti depressants, the conversation moves towards SSRIs and sex. I panic because that shit makes me supper uncomfortable, she said some stuff that was a blatant hint. Anyway me and her have activity later in the week for the group we’re in, she’s invited me out for a drink after and being friendly and uncomfortable I said yea sure.
How best to proceed? I don’t want things to be weird and our group get weird as a result. I wish I could set boundaries.
Worth mentioning I have crazy anxiety so don’t judge too hard I mostly run on auto pilot in those situations.
Best to talk to her before anything else and explain that you’re flattered, but not interested. Don’t lead her on.
Oooor, don’t shut everyone and everything out and maybe give it a try? They are both adults nej?
OP has directly stated that they are uncomfortable with the situation. This isn’t even getting into analysis of social power dynamics yet, OP is uninterested, full stop.
“Hey, I was wondering if you could help me figure something out. I was really flattered by your invite the other day, but I’m not interested in dating right now. I enjoy your friendship and I don’t want to jeopardize it. Is there a way we can comfortably set boundaries without ruining that?”
IMO this way you let them know you’re interested in maintaining a relationship but at a friendship level. You demonstrate that you care about their feelings while clearly establishing the need for specific boundaries.
This reads very well!
I think starting the statement as a request for help in the analysis really works.
