I have anger issues, which I can’t control. I am considered conventionally attractive (though I don’t see it) and many people think I’m cool and want to be around me.
Like I said, though, I have anger issues where I will act quite aggressively towards people. One time, someone I knew said hi to me, so I screamed “I HEARD YOU”. I also tend to type very dryly and with periods when I’m upset (which is admittedly ~90% of the time but I can’t control that).
My friend doesn’t talk to me as much and I really don’t get why because even when I’m “aggressive”, it’s tough love and I’m trying to help them. If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t be like that.
I’m even like this with guys I’ve dated and I love them not as brothers.
Women also piss me off more than men do, so I hang out more with them because I feel like they get me and aren’t as bitchy. (Part of the reason why I’m bi curious but never found a woman I’d date, excluding one I almost went out with).
While I do tend to praise men and ignore women, as some people say, it’s tough love since I think women should be the best versions of themselves :) [I believe this is why society is so hard on women as a whole]
But yeah, TLDR; My mood problems impact the people I care about, and I’m wondering if it’s a turn off since some people don’t want to be around me rather than loving me for me.
I have a reason for my actions, people just choose to ignore those reasons and misinterpret me.
For the most part, yes. For the parts that are a no, they are going to be really unhealthy and chaotic relationships. It definitely depends on the person, but this can be a very challenging social dynamic. It sounds pretty chaotic and I am not sure how many people would be able to deal with that day by day.
To your last point, emotional communication is always tough and it’s really hard to piece things together to get your thoughts across when tensions are high. I think that coming from a mindset of refining and explaining, to yourself first and then to others, why you feel a certain way or did a certain action could be a good start.
Additionally, a lot of people do not respond well to “tough love”. I would argue that for the majority of scenarios, it’s one of the least successful ways to go about showing support and care for someone else. Setting clear and respectful boundaries is one thing, but providing only conditional support is a great way to tank a relationship and have someone distrust you. I think it’s also helpful to unpack why you feel you need to act that way with people you care about. For me, that took a lot of work (still does) and goes back to my relationship with my dad (which has its positives and negatives, a lot of which we’ve worked through over the years).
One of the most important ideas I’ve come across with communication is that you should ask yourself if your actions are helping you meet your goals in the conversation. If you really want to build a strong, trusting, relationship with someone, that’s going to look wildly different to the actions you would take if you really want to distance yourself from someone. And if you mess up with how you presented yourself or how you meant to come across, address it as soon as you possibly can. Clear communication is key and being clear with yourself and your goals/wants/needs/preferences is the start of that.
Hope that helps lol good luck out there. There’s a lot of happiness to bring to the world if you work toward it.
Edit:
For the most part, yes. For the parts that are a no, they are going to be really unhealthy and chaotic relationships.