When you were partying, I untangled wires.

When you were having premarital sex, I mastered cable ties.

While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated my parts boxes.

And now that your internet isn’t working and you need a replacement CAT-6 cable, you have the audacity to come to me for help?

I did that once for a move a few years ago.

I have regretted that decision multiple times as I imagine the bag of cables that used to have the cable I needed…