Whenever I see the phrase “crack open a cold one,” I’m reminded of my necrophilia phase.

Good times.

Rate my breakfast warcrime

Ftfy

The instructions are to put your own oxygen mask on first before aiding others…

e: ducking autocorrupt

“Holy false equivalence, Batman!”

Trump won’t do everything right, but he’s taking an axe to the federal government, and that is always a good thing.

You’re either five and the phone should be taken away, or about to become very aware how fucking stupid this take is.

I’m just seeing two old rabid dogs that need the Old Yeller treatment.

You misspelled “Lapp” in your title.

I saw a Wednesday Addams recovering from burning man.

Now now, the Canadian govt has apologized for Brian Adams on several occasions. Also, fuck you, budday.

And that was a commentary on how every media company is changing shit to appease the new “modern audience,” and gaslighting people about it.

JFC, even the faculty needs sex ed at this school…

STOP BEING AFRAID!!!

That’s a job site toilet. Put it down, that’s gross…!

Fuck Grandpa. How do you think Grandpa’s dad, who most likely fought the fucking Nazis, would feel about Grandpa fellating the fucking fascists? Hmm?

When life gives you tungsten cubes, use it to manufacturer Scorpion rounds to take out Wraiths.