Going on a long road trip, gotta load up on Sulphur to delight the other passengers

Sounds like Gaffigan

If you hit them hard enough

It’s a bad influenz-er

I was indoctrinated on Ray Comfort, I knew who it was going to be before clicking on the link

I would liken it to a long freight train starting to move. Once the front starts moving, it will still be a minute before the back starts moving. The space between the train couplings is like the spring effect between atoms, or something.

Maybe the bunny has nasty, big, pointy teeth. I’ll fetch the holy grand grenade of Antioch!

Are you by chance Irish?

They say no. When you continue to insist on getting an account, your dad loses his patience and starts beating you with jumper cables.

https://xkcd.com/37/