Usually, I have to let the cat fur accrue over months. That’s such a time saver!

If I grow a second nose, will it also be stuffed up? If so, I choose teleportation. I know it’s only 7 inches but that’s enough to get around most doors so it’s still useful.

American suburbanism is truly wild. When you see how people live outside of the U.S., it’s startling what we’re putting up with here for the wonders of spending hours in a car every week.

It’s technically against the law in my state to make a new neighborhood that doesn’t have an HOA. I live in a neighborhood without an HOA because it was built before the law was passed. No one’s running a tavern but we’ve got one neighbor who grows vegetables in a patch of their front yard. Another neighbor has a bunch of chickens and also a rooster. We’re technically not allowed to have roosters but who’s going to tell on them? Not me, for sure.