I was actually thinking of coming back to this and asking if you’d heard anything. Thanks for the update! Pretty weird that it’s just seemingly running like a zombie there.

I haven’t seen any of the porn communities in the three non porn instances I’ve tried here personally. So out of the big ones, world seems to already de-federated at least.

Based on a couple of arguments I’ve now had, they actually sound a lot like manosphere, anti woke people. Just a bit more intelligent and well read. But even the “trans ideology” phrase that they like to use is just their version of “woke agenda”.

I think that it is a sect of feminism that has been created and seeded by the same right wing christian nationalist types that are also behind the manosphere and MAGA. The Peter Thiel and Elon Musk types. They realised in the '90s that calling everything “satanic” wasn’t working, so they started coming up with new terminology to pull people in.

First it was “SJWs”, then “woke” but it all attracts the same kind of people. And “trans ideology” was the term they came up with for women that read and aren’t completely dense. So they’re all behaving like reborn christians and going around stomping out anything the norm. But they also sincerely believe they’re right.

But honestly, based on the conversations I’ve had so far, all alt right people have the same talking points, which TERFs definitely are a part of. They’re just, as I say, not as clearly dumb as other alt right types.

transphobia

Well I mean, all of the trans communities are on an instance with downvotes disabled for a reason. This place is ‘left wing’ when it comes to Trump but when it comes to LGBTQ+ issues, feminism or even discussion about religion, I have my doubts about how ‘left wing’ people here really are.

I know that there’s a teenager advice community of some flavour floating around in the Blåhaj server. But I’m gonna take a guess that the only reason it’s there is because people who can’t just scroll past things were downvoting it. I have a feeling that if an instance or multiple communities for teenagers popped up, the users here would probably terrorize it until it all closed down.

Mulder documentaries? Like the X-Files?

Thanks for the nice conversation, btw.

Likewise. It’s always appreciated when you can chat with someone without guards up and needing to counter snark and shit.

I’ve asked to remove them

I get this bad feeling that they’re probably just going to tell you to get lost. I wouldn’t be surprised if the moderators of those subs have okayed it. Another common thing I saw creators complaining about was dodgy Reddit moderators. The moderators of those subs aren’t their friends or allies from what I can tell. If they’re not the usual assortment on Reddit who aren’t even part of the community but like power anyway, there’s also suspected ‘agencies’ or other bad actors running some of these subs and making life hard for people.

But I applaud you for doing this. And I would be amazed if it actually worked.

What made me leave Facebook was discovering Reddit. What made me leave Reddit was getting banned lol. What made me leave Twitter (or never actually ever bother much with it) is that it seems more like a big popularity contest than ‘social’ platform to me. Besides, if it was really social, there wouldn’t be a character limit that benefits marketing speak and hashtags more than constructive conversation.

Never saw the point of places like Instagram that are based on being able to upload photos. Big deal, you can upload photos anywhere. And the only time I use YouTube is when I’m in the mood for music videos. I have less than zero interest in watching people’s crappy home videos, it’s like reality TV but even more boring and brain rotting. And I’ve got better things to spend my time watching. Oh, and I tried TikTok but noped out very quickly. I see absolutely no value in being spoonfed content by some shady algorithm as opposed to choosing and curating your own content.

Personally, I do not care if the platform that I’m on uses my data to advertise to me. I fell in with the ‘privacy’ crowd like a decade ago and did my time shaking my fists at big brother but I just don’t care anymore. None of this is new. As long as the people on the platform are the kind of people that I could get along with, I’m fine. And quite capable of using an ad blocker if I so desire. I couldn’t care less if Reddit used my posts in the Xena or She-Ra subreddits to advertise romance fantasy novels to me. There’s more important things to focus on.

Even if it’s futile, I probably still won’t be able to keep my mouth shut about it lol. I do enough keeping my mouth shut in the real world, in a country where you have to assume that everyone you meet has conservative views until proven otherwise. So I’m not going to do that to myself online as well. It just feels wrong to me to not at least try when there’s an injustice going on because the easiest way for nothing to change is for no one to even try and change things.

And you’re right, things are at least better for amateur workers now than they were before. So that is progress. Although from what I’ve gathered, OnlyFans isn’t completely immune to dodgy shit either. I’ve come across a couple of stories involving practically human trafficking situations where women are forced into this by pimps and other pieces of shit. So you never really know what’s going on behind the scenes when the camera switches off and the put on smile goes away.

Which is why it’s also just more ethical to get this content from the content creators themselves rather than random 3rd party websites that lift content from elsewhere. At least if you’re getting it from the source, you can have some sense of whether it passes the vibe check or not.

Also, just want to add because I just thought of it. Places that set up bots that lift amateur content from around the web aren’t checking for vibes or doing their homework. So they’re the kinds of places that would be peddling pictures of abuse or trafficking victims, or even underage people, without even knowing it. Or caring.

The whole thing just gives me the creeps. I’m fine with people stealing from Brazzers or whatever because those workers have already been paid and you’re stealing from the suits that get rich off them. But amateur stuff just has too many variables and ethical concerns for me to be comfortable with people treating it the same way as Brazzers.

Yeah they’re basically on any platform that will accommodate them. When they’re not filming anything, the bulk of their work is marketing. Their advertising material on Reddit (and other places) is what leads to money in their bank accounts. Their advertising material on Reddit being taken and posted here leads to no money in their bank accounts.

I think that apart from people just generally not caring how they get the content they want, people also just have zero respect for these workers. They don’t see them as fellow human beings trying to live. Or as deserving of credit or respect as other types of content creators such as artists, musicians and talentless jackasses that complain about the woke agenda on YouTube. They’re just something to bust a nut to for these people but not real.

I’m not sure that I can really blame people’s attitudes towards it though. We’ve all been kinda trained by endless scrolling porn sites to expect it all to be easy and free. And I can’t say that I wouldn’t have also been dismissing this as not a big deal if I hadn’t taken the time to get to know what these people are all about on a different level. I probably would’ve still been under the assumption that they’re raking in endless cash and living easy.

So yeah. It’s probably futile trying to change people’s attitudes towards it. And it’s probably a problem that will never go away and is just part of the game.

I’ve honestly been considering that line of work myself for the last couple of years because I’m reaching the point of last resorts. So I’ve spent the last couple of years lurking in the spaces where creators discuss the business so that I can learn from them. And also because I like to enlighten myself with what people from completely different walks of life are doing and saying.

And maybe that’s why I’m currently looking at them as human beings that are trying to make a living and not objects that everyone is entitled to for free.

I think a lot of people think that these creators are raking in thousands of dollars a day because of one or two success stories in the media years ago when OnlyFans was new. But these guys work fucking hard and often go through months where they’re battling to put food on the table. So personally, I think it’s pretty fucking shitty that a bot is taking all of their promo work and posting it here where people will never even look at their links.

And yeah, no one has disagreed here directly to me but I’ve seen what people are saying about it in other places here on Lemmy.

An account literally called ‘Bot’ (so probably run by the admins of that instance) that seems to pretty much mirror entire NSFW subreddits, specifically subreddits that content creators make use of.

But it doesn’t matter, I’m probably gonna delete this comment and my first comment soon. Because I’m really not in the mood to hear all of the justifying of it and excuses for it from people who like to go around acting like paragons of virtue in all other areas.

repost everything from reddit to their own instance

And steal potential business away from amateur DIY workers trying to make a living. But the same people who tell you how pro working class they are and who complain about AI stealing fan art, won’t see any problem with it because there’s this weird entitlement thing going on as far as people’s attitudes towards porn goes.

OnlyFans provides them a platform to sell their wares but doesn’t pay them in advance. So it’s not stealing from OnlyFans, it’s literally stealing business straight from the worker’s hands. Part of me has been tempted to start contacting them so that they can maybe take some sort of action against it.

Labels are useful for when you’re questioning things and looking for where you belong in the world. They provide key words that can lead you to more information and communities of more people like you. This user is just looking for where they belong without feeling like an imposter or fraud.

I do agree that people shouldn’t hang on labels and revolve everything around labels though. They’re tools and guidelines but ultimately only the individual can define how they really feel and who they really are.

I remember the cheat but not the exact game lol. Definitely Sega Mega Drive though.

ABRACADABRA (R for d-pad right, D for d-pad down).

Going by a Google search it could’ve been Vectorman or Ecco 2. Or both because I played both a lot back then.

I only noticed this in my feed now, so I’m late but I guess that’s how it is on a platform with relatively low activity.

I also used to “fall in love” easily when I was young, so I feel like I can have quite a bit to say here. It’s going to be a long post though.

If you’re anything like I was, it almost feels like what being bipolar must feel like because you’re fully aware that you’re behaving badly but it’s like the chemicals in your brain have gone haywire so you’re not completely in the driver’s seat. And I just want to say, that’s not ‘love’. It’s a slow release poison that is killing you and any chance of love.

Personally I actually just bowed out of relationships for a long time because I knew that I was the problem that needed to solved first. I would maybe suggest making the conscious decision to stop thinking of relationships or “possible future partners” as even being a goal for a while. Make friends along the way but the person that you need to get to know first is yourself. And don’t completely shut yourself off to having a bit of naughty fun once in a while either. But don’t ever expect it or feel like you’re owed it and if it comes along, do it with the mentality of no strings attached as a default instead of immediately seeing wedding bells in the future.

Just be careful though because once you learn to be happy in your relationship with yourself, it can be addictive. I kept it going for a little too long myself, so now I’m at the point where even though I wouldn’t mind having a special someone, the idea of sharing a bed and a cupboard etc. kinda repulses me. I’m going to have to find a very specific kind of person that wants both love and independence at the same time at this point lol.

But that’s part of finding out who you are. In fact part of my problem is that I’m at the very least aromantic. I just do not know how to receive or give the same cues that everyone else seems to be tuned into. So I mimicked my idea of ‘romance’ from romcoms and shit. And (metaphorically speaking because I wasn’t quite that bad) I thought that serenading her with a guitar outside her window or chasing her down at the airport was how it was done and not borderline stalker behavior in the eyes of the person being ‘serenaded’ or chased. Also (and it took me a long time to come to this conclusion because I come from a country where we weren’t educated on all this stuff), I have come to find that I am actually somewhere around non-binary in the gender spectrum and I think that people around me could tell that I wasn’t completely cis long before I knew.

That’s my journey though. You need to find your own answers. My point is that now I am better equipped with the knowledge that I need to try again. Some people have it all figured out from the start, some of us take a while longer.

Aaand sorry to keep going on but I’m also going to punt Relationship Anarchy. It’s actually more about polyamory but I think that there’s a lot of good ideas in here that can be applied to monogamous relationships or even just friendships. Namely as far as your jealousy issues go, I’m going to quote two sections.

Love and respect instead of entitlement:

Deciding to not base a relationship on a foundation of entitlement is about respecting others’ independence and self-determination. Your feelings for a person or your history together does not make you entitled to command and control a partner to comply with what is considered normal to do in a relationship. Explore how you can engage without stepping over boundaries and personal beliefs. Rather than looking for compromises in every situation, let loved ones choose paths that keep their integrity intact, without letting this mean a crisis for the relationship. Staying away from entitlement and demands is the only way to be sure that you are in a relationship that is truly mutual. Love is not more “real” when people compromise for each other because it’s part of what’s expected.

Trust is better:

Choosing to assume that your partner does not wish you harm leads you down a much more positive path than a distrustful approach where you need to be constantly validated by the other person to trust that they are there with you in the relationship. Sometimes people have so much going on inside themselves that there’s just no energy left to reach out and care for others. Create the kind of relationship where withdrawing is both supported and quickly forgiven, and give people lots of chances to talk, explain, see you and be responsible in the relationship. Remember your core values and to take care of yourself though!

And that is that. Sorry for the essay.

You have to use an LP and play it backwards for the portals to open or else it won’t work.