not OP, but I’m in two minds about it. I don’t really care to step in on caitlyn’s behalf, she can kick rocks for all I care. and I don’t think the intent of the post was hateful, but whenever a trans person does something bad and newsworthy, deadnames start to come out and even if it’s directed at someone I actively despise it still sucks to read. revoking someone’s chosen name out of personal disgust is just something we deal with irl a lot. it’s a similar kind of ick as when a female politician does something reprehensible and the discourse gets flooded by a bunch of people crudely commenting on her appearance.
eta: with a very minor change this same exact point could be made without deadnaming her, so to me it’s uncomfortable and unnecessary.
more complex yes, but more hands in the family unit and structure between the other two can be a really nice perk too. when conflict happens, you have someone else you love who knows your partner and relationship who can bridge the gap and give perspective.