ivanafterall ☑️

Never thought I’d see the day that the very concept of parody itself would become outdated.

I’m not sad, you’re sad.

lolol holy shit

Yeah.

Thanks. I was fortunate enough to go from working as a typical dumbass conservative to jaded and leaving the Hill to suddenly working at a place that focused on the civil service–things like the IRS, OPM, OMB. I suddenly found the talking points I brought with me from a GOP Capitol Hill office very flimsy–beyond insufficient in the face of the reality of these very complex agencies/issues and these people working in these agencies who were waaaay smarter than I was. And some of those people were kind enough to fairly gently go, “Here’s all the shit you’ve been wrong about until now, you fucking dumbass. OH, and just fyi, here’s some of the literal personal human fallout the bullshit you were personally working on caused on this side of things.” It was all sobering. I’m still not an expert, I just mostly try to shutup now unless I’m pretty sure I’m not accidentally still spewing some old propaganda dust bunny that I inadvertently missed.

Latest John Oliver Trump segment shows exactly that: 19-year-old Elon Musk follower known as “Big Balls” online who as of now is a senior adviser at the State Department. :) :) :) :) :)

The notion of a deep state is absurd and is just right-wing bullshit demonizing government employees so that conservatives could justify tearing it down like they’re doing now.

For years, the problem at many agencies has been getting enough good people into government, because who wants to work at a place they’ll be often underpaid and treated/discussed like shit? The IRS is a great example. Their collection efforts (e.g. Biden making an effort to go claim unpaid taxes from wealthier Americans) repay something like 10-to-1 what is spent on them, but year-after-year-after-year they’re underfunded, because it’s easy to say, “Fuck the IRS! BOOOO TAXES!” And nobody wants to hear, “Collecting taxes is literally one of THE essential aspects of government. The agency that collects them needs more resources to do it well–they’re literally still using 1980s computer equipment. Please give the IRS more money.”

The reality is so much less sexy than any conspiracy would have you believe. Less “secret underground bunkers with flashing lights” and more “dilapidated Soviet building that it turns out has been unoccupied for 25 years, but all the files are still in the cabinets, because they just left one day and nobody gave a fuck.”

Pictured: Castle Kevin, Liechtenstein

You don’t have to go places if you’re not ready. Start small. Shit on something in your home, maybe start with your desk? Baby steps.

Nah, you’re good. I get how you took it like that.

You’re right, but I wasn’t being argumentative, just fyi. My intention was to say, “If you’re thinking of them as at all similar, PLEASE DON’T.” You should totally give psychedelics a try if/when it works for you, because they’re nothing even remotely comparable to a buzz, or being very drunk, or adderall, or weed (okay, POTENTIALLY mildly similar, but rarely, at least for me), etc. It was just intended to share my own experience with the two and how they compare, since you noted you’d only tried the one. But I do see how it could’ve come across. Wasn’t trying to be smarmy and corrective.

Hold the vibrator up to the megaphone’s mouthpiece. Point the megaphone at the genitals of your choice. Buckle up.

“Holy shit, that guy must be GOOD. I’ve gotta get me some of that.”

If you don’t leave people any room to change their minds/develop, how do you propose to make any progress, ever?

:)

Twice in a row, my eyes read, “so that I can shove more shit in my pants.”

Anyway, good job, super shit post.

Can I put a bag on their mailboxes to volunteer? How do you know this? Are you aware of this having happened? Do the elders literally just stand there with their arms crossed and go, “Hmm, yes, quite.” What happens if I have a really violently explosive orgasm, like just Tarzan screaming and collapsing into a heap of shuddering putty on top of the blanket woman. I assume that would be frowned upon? Or can I enjoy the one time, since it’s procreative?

To be fair, maybe fucking through a sheet IS the advanced sexual practice of the future and we’re missing out. I, for one, have never tried it. I tend to think I’m above it, because “normal” to me is the horrifying display of unfortunate nude bodies and their fluids clumsily flailing about until she gets upset for one reason or another. Maybe with a sheet, it’d be easier to picture something nice? Tell me more about the elders presiding over my breeding session?

Joking aside, I’m legitimately fascinated now. I know there was a reality show, but are there any more bookish sources about Amish sexual practices, or do you know more? I suddenly have questions.

It’s probably my favorite show of all time, so I may be biased. It’s phenomenal, rich writing, like the ultimate Western written by the love-child of Dostoevsky, Shakespeare, and a very crass pirate. Starring Ian Macshane and Powers Boothe, as just two standouts among so, so many. I truly envy your first watch. I’m on probably my fourth. The movie is for the end, to help you mourn that it’s all over.

lol u and ur hissing 🥰

Comparing alcohol to psychedelics is wiiiiild. Psychedelics changed my life. Alcohol mostly just makes me sad and sleepy. Occasionally giggly, at best.