Live, from Chicago’s famous Studebaker Theater, I’m Herringbone Winehouse sitting in for Peter Sagal on Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me. Today’s guests have all been rounded up by ICE, so Bill Kurtis and I will exchange obscure yet witty barbs while a sad trumpet plays a downtempo version of the Wait Wait theme in a minor key.

“Sometimes, a balloon knot is just a balloon knot.” Emrys Freud, Sigmund’s duller brother.

Psst, covfe.fe is available. Pass it on.

Ah yes, good old dependency.

You’re the real MVB

Just suckers, like an octopus.

Note to self: Face-eating leopards nearly always arrive hungry.

Food poisoning will lead right back to a toilet paper shortage. Never mind that the US is net exporter of TP.

You are indeed a fortunate individual.

“She burns facts and she uses that ash to create a perfect smokey eye.” - Michelle Wolf

First it was “Day 1”, then “It’s Biden’s Economy”, then “There will be a transition period”. Meanwhile he’s raking it in with all his grifts, prices are high NOW, and I’m hungry NOW.

Incredible. I am dismayed that so many people find it difficult to understand that it’s a tax on imported goods at the port of entry. The importer is going to pay the tax and then mark up the goods accordingly.

“Expendable peasant”: Anyone who isn’t a billionaire willing to throw money at L’Orange.

Great phrase, BTW. I’m brand new around here and I already like the place!