I don’t get the 1st joke

With an attitude like that you are overperforming by 105%

Stoicism in the Marcus Aurelius sense has some value here. There are things you can change and things that you can’t. Recognize the difference. It might mean recognizing you get upset about the things you can’t change, but as a framework it puts a lot into perspective

If you are serious, learn a trade. They will always be in demand.