I heard someone get called old recently for quoting Frozen…

You can’t just use the same words and call it a rhyme… peanut

Wait, different circumstances have different laws? Tell me more!

Would a traffic warden tell a surgeon how to operate? Would a traffic warden tell a footballer how to kick? The how come a traffic warden can tell me where I can park my car?

Imagine letting an email find you. Best tactic is to clear it from your notifications because you’ll deal with it later, accidentally forget about it for three weeks, and then it’s too late for whatever the email was about

Coming from a non-American, an inches-only tape measure is incredibly cursed

it’s arbitrary

Start at […] one or zero.

Coward. My century starts at 54

Just crouch down to simulate moving to a lower line.

John <crouch> Doe

Cow yummy

This has got to be a troll, right?