Basically.

I’d let Erdogan boink me if it meant I don’t join the military.

I came across the boldest, most unfiltered military guy there. Exchange went something like this: Sen erkek misin? Evet, erkeğim. Ama bir kıza benziyorsun? Evet. Eminim bir sürü erkek seni becermek istiyordur. (Are you a guy? Yes, I am a guy. But you look like a girl? Yes. I’m sure a lot of guys want to fuck you.) I also asked them if they wanted to see pics / vids of me having sex and they said yes, so I showed them. They asked what my favorite position is and I answered başım aşağıdayken köpek stili ve adamın ayağı yüzümde (doggy style with my head down and his foot on my face). It was an experience to say the least.

They can’t. You have to “prove” you’re gay.

Got my pembe tezkere (pink certificate) and escaped legalized slavery. Life’s good. 😻

I’ll run the pleasure squad like American moms run parent-teacher meetings in movies and TV shows.