Yeah, my marriage ended with my ex torturing me for about three days give or take, and then calling the police to have me removed from the house I paid the bills on. The police then lied about what happened and there is no police report. I essentially don’t have rights as a human being - if a cis person rapes or physically assaults me, they will face no consequences. Kinda done with all forms of relationships.
I’m not going to find anyone in this red state. If my ex hadn’t also managed to max out my credit cards before kicking me out, I would be able to escape. I will never get out, I will never experience love or compassion again, I exist as a ball of misery that screams at people to try to prevent anyone from going through the torture I have experienced. I do not exist as a human being that is capable of receiving love, I am an object of anger that attempts to point myself like a gun at the people who hurt others to give my sad and miserable life meaning and purpose.
Then move. Go away. Yes you can, it’s just a matter of what you’re willing to give up. Walk to a different state if you have to, because at this point even homelessness sounds better than what you’re experiencing.
I feel for you, I really do, but your life -in part- is what you make it. Yeah, life throws lemons at you, but its up to you to respond to that and make it something. You have the choice of staying there, brooding and complaining, or you can do something.
Join a protest group? Find like-minded people to hang out with? Maybe star driving somewhere, leave your state? Whatever you do, do something, don’t just accept the status quo you’re in now. Anything is better than just being miserable
You have only one life, make it fucking matter. Make a differece for yourself, then once you’re okay, go in and make a difference for others. If not that, start first with others and that difference for yourself will come.
If I just drive straight north to try to beg for asylum, I will die of heat stroke in my car which does not have working AC. I will likely get pulled over, as my car is not registered and has a piece of plastic hanging off of its side. I don’t have the money to purchase gas.
Walking would also probably lead to death from heat stroke. I would also likely be arrested due to my states hatred of the homeless/vagrancy laws. In jail, I would likely experience sexual assault as a trans person if not death.
My plan last year was to work as much as I could to save money to leave. This did not work out, because I cannot afford to fix my car, to have health insurance.
Where I am at I can afford the rent. My new job has a food pantry so I have options to not starve. I have a reputation which helps me get work opportunities.
I do work on helping others. It is killing me and I am suffering due to retaliation but I am doing my damnedest to make sure that no children experience what happened to me. I tell anyone who will listen. I try to protect others.
I give and give and give. There aren’t “communities” for people like me here. Even the most left leaning people here are at heart conservatives.
I am just going to keep going until I can’t. When I take my final actions they will be precise.
Seeking out mental health services six months ago got me physically assaulted and cost me a job, so I have PTSD from my ex husband torturing me, the child rape facility I was sent to as a teenager also torturing me, and the hospital I was sent to as an adult for daring to ask for help beating the shit out of me and calling me “fucking retarded!” I wish I could die, but instead of death I’ll just keep yelling at people so hopefully no one else will get to spend their nights slowly drinking themselves to death to make their brain not feel like it’s on fire.
My license just expired and I can’t afford to renew. Booze for now ❤️
Cannabis won’t kill me, and I’m trying to die in a way that won’t get me imprisoned in a torture facility that will cost me thousands of dollars again. Slow death so I can yell at people.
Yeah, my marriage ended with my ex torturing me for about three days give or take, and then calling the police to have me removed from the house I paid the bills on. The police then lied about what happened and there is no police report. I essentially don’t have rights as a human being - if a cis person rapes or physically assaults me, they will face no consequences. Kinda done with all forms of relationships.
Why torture yourself, then?
There are good people out there, I’d like to think I’m one, or trying at least. So there is already at least one good person out there.
Don’t let a few assholes ruin your life. there are boat loads of like-minded people out there for you, find them
I’m not going to find anyone in this red state. If my ex hadn’t also managed to max out my credit cards before kicking me out, I would be able to escape. I will never get out, I will never experience love or compassion again, I exist as a ball of misery that screams at people to try to prevent anyone from going through the torture I have experienced. I do not exist as a human being that is capable of receiving love, I am an object of anger that attempts to point myself like a gun at the people who hurt others to give my sad and miserable life meaning and purpose.
JFC
Then move. Go away. Yes you can, it’s just a matter of what you’re willing to give up. Walk to a different state if you have to, because at this point even homelessness sounds better than what you’re experiencing.
I feel for you, I really do, but your life -in part- is what you make it. Yeah, life throws lemons at you, but its up to you to respond to that and make it something. You have the choice of staying there, brooding and complaining, or you can do something.
Join a protest group? Find like-minded people to hang out with? Maybe star driving somewhere, leave your state? Whatever you do, do something, don’t just accept the status quo you’re in now. Anything is better than just being miserable
You have only one life, make it fucking matter. Make a differece for yourself, then once you’re okay, go in and make a difference for others. If not that, start first with others and that difference for yourself will come.
If I just drive straight north to try to beg for asylum, I will die of heat stroke in my car which does not have working AC. I will likely get pulled over, as my car is not registered and has a piece of plastic hanging off of its side. I don’t have the money to purchase gas.
Walking would also probably lead to death from heat stroke. I would also likely be arrested due to my states hatred of the homeless/vagrancy laws. In jail, I would likely experience sexual assault as a trans person if not death.
My plan last year was to work as much as I could to save money to leave. This did not work out, because I cannot afford to fix my car, to have health insurance.
Where I am at I can afford the rent. My new job has a food pantry so I have options to not starve. I have a reputation which helps me get work opportunities.
I do work on helping others. It is killing me and I am suffering due to retaliation but I am doing my damnedest to make sure that no children experience what happened to me. I tell anyone who will listen. I try to protect others.
I give and give and give. There aren’t “communities” for people like me here. Even the most left leaning people here are at heart conservatives.
I am just going to keep going until I can’t. When I take my final actions they will be precise.
#murrca
Such a wonderful place!
Seeking out mental health services six months ago got me physically assaulted and cost me a job, so I have PTSD from my ex husband torturing me, the child rape facility I was sent to as a teenager also torturing me, and the hospital I was sent to as an adult for daring to ask for help beating the shit out of me and calling me “fucking retarded!” I wish I could die, but instead of death I’ll just keep yelling at people so hopefully no one else will get to spend their nights slowly drinking themselves to death to make their brain not feel like it’s on fire.
Hey. Cannabis not alcohol. Better for that.
My license just expired and I can’t afford to renew. Booze for now ❤️
Cannabis won’t kill me, and I’m trying to die in a way that won’t get me imprisoned in a torture facility that will cost me thousands of dollars again. Slow death so I can yell at people.