• alaphic@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I didn’t expect…

    Good news everyone!

    I’ve developed a nearly foolproof method for preventing anyone else from sharing this fuckin sucker’s experience, and will share it here - free of charge - today only!

    It’s simple. All you have to do is ask yourself a single question: Does X effect Trump’s Y?

    Replace X with the issue or item you’re concerned with.

    Then replace Y with one of the following: health | self-image | bank account | stock market

    If your answer is ‘No,’ congratulations, you now know that Trump will indeed NOT give a single fuck about your problem. Also, it’s probably some sort of peasant issue anyway.

    If your answer is ‘Yes,’ you’re likely still fucked somehow! 😁

  • espressdelivery@lemm.ee
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    21 days ago

    Cancers just one or those bad ROI things

    Like you’ve got enough money surely you’d have solved cancer by now?

    Sometimes you need to “I dunno” totally slash the funding to stimulate the industry a bit you know?

    Up the experiments, swirl more chemicals in your chemistry set and get us results!

    /s

  • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    Actually he isn’t allowed to run charities anymore because he ran a “Trump fund” for sick children, and… it all went to Trump so…

    Yeah he is Anti-Curing Childhood Cancer

  • NutWrench@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    “We never expected that the guy who told us to fight Covid by eating horse paste and shoving UV lights up our butts wouldn’t know a damn thing about science.”

    • ours@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Give him some credit… he also suggested ingesting bleach. Technically it would have killed COVID and guaranteed the patient never got COVID or any other sickness ever again.

        • Bytemeister@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Just to clarify, the Maga chuds dying from drinking bleach, od’ing on ivermectin and getting sunburns in their colon would have been a net gain for humanity. Which is why it’s taking all my restraint not to say anything about birdflu and raw milk.

      • SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        We’re naked monkeys evolved to live in small groups trying to run a system with several billion people. Humanity is a bit underspecced.

        • atomicorange@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Humanity is in early access, bugs and memory leaks are to be expected. Yes, it’s been early access for years, we’re still adding features!